ARCHIVED KUDOS & CRITIQUES

WRITTEN in SEPTEMBER 2004
A STORY FROM THE “LYSA SAYS: CHALLENGE ME!” FICATHON
CHALLENGE ISSUED BY MARIE:
A talk about birthday presents and honest feelings.
FICPIC CREDIT:  JENAY
Cordelia & Angel discuss dying, demonizing and their growing feelings for each other.

What are your thoughts about ‘Revelations‘?
Kudos and Critiques are Appreciated. 

CALIFI:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lysa
“I did. You weren’t listening.”

Angel spun her around, his hands flexing open and closed against her arms. “The hell you did.” His splintering dark gaze dared her to lie to him again. Not about this.

“When I said the visions were killing me you thought I was joking?” Cordelia huffed and pushed the flat of her palms against his damp white shirt. Pelting raindrops hit in random patterns against the clinging material.

Now that was something I wanted said- thank you!

Quote:
You shouldn’t have to pay such a price to please the Powers or me, but I’m selfish enough to want you anyway I can have you.”

“Have me any way you want,” the words tumbled out of her mouth.

There ya go, heeeee

Quote:
“If there’s a middle ground, I swear I’ll find it.”

Secure in his arms, Cordelia quickly corrected, “We’ll find it together.”

An opening for more at a later date?

What?
Just saying

Sachxxwubs

SUNSCORCHED:

QUOTE
“When I said the visions were killing me you thought I was joking?” Cordelia huffed and pushed the flat of her palms against his damp white shirt. Pelting raindrops hit in random patterns against the clinging material.

Recalling it, Angel dropped his hands, paced away and then stalked back again crowding her. His body shouted aggression, barely restrained anger. His hands lifted up only to curl up into tight fists and push back down to his sides. Despite what sounded like an attempt at softening his tone, the snarl couldn’t be hidden.

“Dammit, Cordy, I didn’t think you meant it literally. You should have made sure I got the picture.”

Men, even vampires, are completely dense when it comes to stuff of a serious nature. Angel did get the picture; sadly it was the scan picture he got.

QUOTE
“What should I have done, waved my MRI films under your nose?” Cordelia snapped back despite knowing that wasn’t entirely fair.

The muscles along his jaw tightened. Finally, Angel answered, “Harsh, but that would have done it.”

Thus proving my point.

QUOTE
The use of her full name should have warned her he was on the edge, but she decided to take the straight-forward route. “They demonized me.”

Trust Cordy to not be intimidated by a little vampy anger. But then, not really many other ways to tell the ones you love that you’re not entirely human anymore.

QUOTE
“You stay with me to help me with my redemption so I can win the right to be human again, yet you let them do this.”

Don’t know about anyone else, but I read so much into this line.

Angel is working to get what she partly gave up. Maybe, subconsciously he’s thinking she took her humanity for granted. Like “I’ve always wanted that and you’ve gave it up?” That sort of thing.

QUOTE

“Umm, Angel,” she started to get fidgety when he didn’t immediately release her. Then curiosity kicked in. “Am I— can you tell that I’m different? How do I smell…demony?”

Slowly extracting himself, Angel took one step back, his hand still in place at the nape of her neck. Circling her pulse, he told her tenderly, “Delicious, not demony. You smell like raindrops, that fruity hand lotion from the bathroom, my bed, ripe and womanly like you always do.”

That vamp certainly knows what he’s talking about when it comes Cordy’s scent.

All the way through this fic, the mood was kept light but you could still read the underlying emotions.

This was a really intelligent fic Lysa, the interaction between C/A was simply beautiful and I adored the way those feelings were shared, returned and explored.

Yes, it’s truly a work of art. Loved it.

NICKLE:

QUOTE: Angel lifted his hand toward her face and it paused with a stutter mid-air until the fingers threaded through her hair and his thumb swept over the curve of her cheek. She slid her own hand up the smooth surface of his leather sleeve to curl around his thick wrist. With a tug, Cordelia pulled back and stepped away from the urge to nuzzle her cheek against his hand.

Such a lovely, understated moment. Exactly right for what had just happened, and what’s on the verge of happening.

QUOTE: “There’s a lot to see, Cordelicious.” Normally jovial, Lorne’s mouth was a flat line of concern as he took in changes only he could sense. The dancing lights appearing in her normally pure aura signaled something significant had happened.

Ya know, that little moment would have done so much to set up what happened later on with the demon in Cordy awakening. Nice job.

QUOTE: Mist turned to a light drizzle as Cordelia stared upward as the gloomy sky clouded all traces of the moon. Rather than chase her indoors, the rain kept her mesmerized. Cold splatters fell like tears from the heavens, weeping in relief when she could not. Droplets burst against her skin, curling the short strands of her hair and soaking her clothes.

Seriously one of the loveliest passages, oh, ever. What an image, of the rain as metaphor for her relief.

QUOTE: When she noticed the flicker of Angel’s eyelids as the move caught his eye, Cordelia railed, “I’m up here. Sheesh! You pick now to notice I have boobs?”

….and we’re back. *g*

So moving and so so so fitting for the story. You provided what was really a couple of moments of time and used it to forward the story so much. This was just excellent.

B

PHEEBZ:

This is just an amazing and beautiful story.
I really enjoyed reading it.
Why couldn’t it have happened that way!!!
Anyway, it was a beautiful story and I really loved it!
Luv, Pheebz

HELEN:

Sorry to be late but AO was playing up so I gave up! Wonderful story from a difficult challenge but you pulled it off brilliantly. Cordelia was heroic and yet resigned so completely avoiding the easy trap of corniness and Angel was just how he would have been… Typically male and arrogantly protective only with those wonderful traits of Angel I love and you bring out so well; Understanding with a touch of guilt, caring and strength!

Fantastic descriptions, spot on characterizations and lots of poignant dialogue. Who could ask for more??!!

Thanks and huge hugs, Helen

DUSTED:

This was so great. I enjoyed every bit. Loved the part when Angel found out Cordy knew what he had said about her. Classic. A very good and memorable fic!

KIMMERS:

Lysa,
Love it girl you so rock right now and i know that Marie will love it even so much more, you took her challenge and really made it into something good.
Good on ya
from Kim

STORMY:

That was so great! It would have been great to watch too.
Thanks so much!

KATRINA:

Oh I loved that Lysa, just perfectly perfect. From the image of the two of them in the rain to the way Angel admired his gift in Cordy’s ears, I could see it all.

QUOTE

Cordelia crossed her arms under her breasts, deep cleavage forming beneath the sodden white tank top as her breasts pressed against the curved cups of her white bra. When she noticed the flicker of Angel’s eyelids as the move caught his eye, Cordelia railed, “I’m up here. Sheesh! You pick now to notice I have boobs?”

LMAO so very Cordy, you captured her so well.

I love the thought of the two of the working on their demon issues together, so romantic. Hugs —–Kat

DIGITRIX:

What great story !! Just like Pheebz wrote, it should have happened this way. Thank you.

RACINGJUNKIE:

Very enjoyable fic. I would have loved to see that on screen. But your words planted a pretty beautiful picture in my head and I felt like I was watching. – thanks —-rj

SYDSVAUGHN:

Lovely! I know it’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to peruse the board (work and grad school are killing me)… but how wonderful to return to such a lovely A/C piece… exactly what I needed to relieve my stress! So wonderful! —–SaraC

LUCKYLYN:

I loved this. So much was left undealt with after Birthday and I wish they’d put something like this on the show. As always you captured the characters perfectly.

BLACKONYX:

I feel the same way, after birthday so much was left unresolved, it’s nice to see some type of closure even if it is fic, and a great fic, may I add. i love this!

DAMNSKIPPY:

Lysa, finally, a few moments for fb. I’ve read this twice now and I can’t wait to read it again.

This fic is packed with moments I adore. Cordy in the garden reflecting on her bizarre life, the sky raining tears of relief, Gunn’s anxious moment about celebrating her birthday, and of course Angel’s fear, relief, anger, shock, confusion and finally understanding all make this particular fic very special for me.

I know they couldn’t do shows about every minute of their lives (well, they could and it was S4), but this talk was such a vital one to everyone that is should have happened on screen. I’m very grateful that you have such a clear vision of how it could have gone and gave it to us. The little details like a shaking hand, a slight eye movement, a thumb caressing a wrist, or a sudden intake of breath put me so much in the moment that I could almost feel the touches myself.

I don’t have much more to say except that it was as perfect as a fic can get, IMO, and I’ll save it to read again and again. Thank you!

MARIE:

I absolutely love it, I knew you would do justice to my challenge, but this has far exceeded my expectations.

I’m not going to start quoting here because I would end up quoting the entire fic.

You captured Cordy and Angels emotions beautifully. I always felt that the writers should have done something with that missing scene

This is definitely one to keep and thank you once again for taking up my challenge and producing such a wonderful story.

Marie

TOUTOUNE:

I loved your story, the characterization was right on target and I so wish they had done that on the screen. I mean “Birthday” left me so frustrated, thank you for trying to resolve that. Mwah!! This fic was so romantic and moving.

CAMARTIN:

I don’t usually take trips into the Standalone Section, or at least it if I do they’re brief. Don’t know why since there are, 99.9 percent of the time, little gems that are worth reading.

Lysa, this is far from a little gem. This is a masterpiece that deserves an equally eloquent and moving sequel. You’re a genius when it comes to storytelling and a master at weaving the words that create such poignant imagery.

More soon before I die from lack of Lysa-Fic.

BECJANE:

Lysa – that was wonderfully atmospheric – loved the way you used the weather.

QUOTE:     “I’m up here. Sheesh! You pick now to notice I have boobs?”

LOL – a giggle amid an extremely emotional fic.

Cordy and Angel’s conversation was so affecting. I wish we’d seen this on the show. They totally swept the reasons for Cordy’s choice under the carpet. This story puts that to rights perfectly.

Great as ever

Hugs Becky

GILLY:

Great fic Lysa, very poignant.

At last a believable addition to the ‘Birthday’ episode.

Lovely talk between A/C, something that should have been on the show.

It annoyed me, the way they just ignored it and moved on, sigh…

Had to giggle at Cordy still wanting gifts.

Keep ’em coming.

BUFFY_ANGEL2000

Such a wonderful fic!

I loved how you wrote both Angel and Cordy, and their conversation about her being demon and their feelings. I always felt like I really missed out with them leaving out things that needed to be said after ‘Birthday’, but I really loved your take on how it went.

Thanks so much for writing it. Great work.

SUNFLOWER:

Well, I just have to say thank you. It was beautifully written.

NICKLE:

Can’t believe I didn’t post here too. I so loved this. It’s an economical piece, perfectly laying out a completely believable scenario for Angel’s response to the events of birthday. This really is perfect. Spot on characterization, and really lovely, flowing dialogue.  I’m not worthy. —–B

SENSUE:

Wow…That was such a good story. I’m smiling in that “aw” way right now.

But you sort of stopped the story at the best part. I want to know what happens next.

And you only mentioned Connor. (I think there should be a family bonding moment.) But this was a really good story, please keep it up.

MINT DRAGON:

That was seriously AWESOME. I am SO putting this story, and you, on my favorites list. So KEEP WRITING!
-Sincerely,
Mint Dragon

SI_CRAZY

Great fic, Lysa!!!! You did an amazing job! I loved everything!!

CYDNESTORM:

Wish I had read this a lot sooner. Beautiful piece, Lysa. Love your style.  —–Cyd

DRAGON OF ASH:

excellent fic! I like how you portrayed cordelia and angel’s relationship, most excellent. And ya, this is another vote for more chapters. I know this was probably intended as a one-shot, but i’d be great to see Cordy and Angel interacting with Conner as well as the rest of the group.
I especially liked the scene in the garden. it was wonderful.

LISAMARIE514:

Okay Lysa – I have been way way way behind on my reading.

This story was awesome…it so calls for a sequel or an epilogue.

Why weren’t you on the writing cast for Angel hmmmmmm

love yah girl!   —–LM

BEWARETHEMEL:

I loved this! More, please?

XIAOU-XIJANG:

wow, this is a great story, that shows lots of hidden aspects to Cordelia and Angel’s relationship. This is a fantabulous fic, and I hope you write many mor! Keep em coming!      ~xiaou

ANGEL-CORDY:

That was good. Keep up the good work

CUTIESAIYAJIN:

Beautiful story!

HUNTINGPLACE:

You’re a great writer and this is a cute story. Good job.
A.WINDSOR:

wonderful. 🙂 Beautiful tension. And hot, too. 😉